Story by Kalen Glenn
Photos by Ben and Marina Kong


It’s now 5:28 am on Sunday morning and I’ve just returned from the desert. Parched and cracked lips, grimy broken fingernails, and a sore back from the 9 hour drive can’t dampen my enthusiasm. I ran off to Joshua Tree to escape from the normal family Thanksgiving, instead choosing 3 days of monkeying around in a monzonite dreamworld.

We left San Jose at 9:30 on Wednesday night, aiming for an early Thursday morning arrival. By 5:30 am, we were driving around the Hidden Valley Campground, which like all the other campsites in Joshua Tree was fully packed. I’ve never seen so many Sportsmobile Vans in my life. Trolling around Ryan campsite around 6am, we found a site with a tag stating only 1 night reserved. Hoping we could swoop in and take the site later that day, we parked the cars and made coffee. I had been driving since 2 am, after Jarom had driven his 4 and half hour shift while his girlfriend Lucia snoozed away riding shotgun. Ben and Marina had driven behind or in front of us in their hatchback all 450 miles, neither sleeping much at all.

As the sun rose and the landscape was revealed around us, I lost all feelings of tiredness and instead felt filled with joy and energy. The campsites were all nestled amongst awesome piles of featured rock, with corridors and caves all around. The flat expanse of the desert spread out before us, evenly filled with thousands of unique, gangly Joshua Trees and hundreds of golden granite islands. A hundred yards away was a pile of huge beautiful boulders, with a large steep rock called the headstone perched right on top. Alone,I scrambled quietly up the rocks above the campground and watched the sun fill the park with light and warmth.

Slowly, campers emerged from their tents. When we saw a man awake inside the tan, lifted Sportsmobile at our hoped for site, we rudely asked if they were indeed leaving that day. He told us he was and we slipped our tag under his at the post, our campsite secured! Jarom and I grabbed our climbing shoes and chalkbags and went to the pile of rocks with the headstone. Fantastic moderate bouldering on gritty, sharp rocks up to 30 feet high. A glorious handcrack with big face holds led up a particularly high boulder offering easy exhilaration. Good climbing seemed to be everywhere.




We headed over to the Hidden Valley Campground to rope up and climb some classics. Jarom and Lucia climbed the 5.5 Secovar, and Ben and I climbed the 5.7 Jungle, both on Intersection rock. Fun easy climbing up chimneys and finishing with a 20 foot #4 fist crack variation. Across the parking lot over on Chimney Rock, a striking vertical crack in a flaring corner caught my eye. The guidebook called the crack Damper, a 5.9. I racked up 3 #4 camelots and 2 #3s and got to work. Reaching deep into the crack I was able to get decent fist jams while scumming my back against the flaring left side of the climb. Inch by inch, I slowly grunted my way up, learning along the way that Joshua Tree cracks can be strenuous and physical. Jarom followed me up and we set up a top rope on Pinched Rib, a beautiful quartz dike on a vertical wall rated 5.10.
I had precooked a 20 lb turkey for Thanksgiving, and having whetted our appetites for climbing, we turned our attention towards returning to camp and preparing Thanksgiving dinner. We all ate our fill of turkey, gravy, sweet potatoes, cranberries and lots of pumpkin pie. Sleep came quick and easy at 7pm.

That night a cold wind picked up, forcing me to pull my sleeping bag over my head so as to warm it with my breath. Even with all my warm clothes and my down jacket, it was hard to avoid feeling chilled by the steady blowing wind. Morning came, the sun rose but the wind remained until well after 10. We packed food and went to the Real Hidden Valley climbing area. Jarom and I headed straight for Championship Wrestling, a 5.10 offwidth on the Sports Challenge rock. Using all our big gear, 4 #4s, a #6 and 2 big bros, Jarom fearlessly led up this surprisingly fun climb and I followed. Even the offwidth climbs in Joshua Tree are awesome!

We top roped the 5.11d Cool but Concerned next, and while I pulled on the big jug at the start of the crux the hold broke off, making the climb substantially harder. Next we climbed the 5.10d Hang and Swing on the far right side of Sports Challenge Rock’s East Face. Hang and Swing is an awesome zig zagging finger to hand crack with some great face holds as well. So far, the day had been incredible! We then moved into the sun and climbed Sphincter Quits 5.9, an eighty foot, splitter finger crack. We ended the day top roping What’s it to You, the 5.10d to the right of Sphincter Quits. The evening was spent getting to know our campsite neighbors, a lovely couple Dave and Bridgite on one side, and a friendly archaeologist couple on the other. Dave played his guitar, Bridgite talked in her heavy German accent about how much Europeans enjoyed “Yoshua Treee.”

At 7am on Saturday morning, our last day, we climbed to the top of the campsite rocks and stretched out with a Yoga session led by Jarom. Shortly after, before breakfast, Jarom and I hurried over to take turns leading Cryptic 5.8 on the Headstone Rock. 4 bolts lead up an exciting arete featuring excellent holds and a fun balancy mantel near the top.

After breakfast we went back to Sports Challenge Rock’s steep overhanging East Face to top rope the 5.10c Clean and Jerk and the 5.12 Leave it to Beaver. Clean and Jerk is quite possibly the best climb I’ve done anywhere, offering a challenging boulder problem start to a long, over hanging hand crack, with some great face holds, chimneying and finger locks thrown in. I loved it so much I climbed it 3 times. Next up was the super strenuous Leave it to Beaver. After 3 attempts, Jarom was able to climb through the crux without falling, but lost steam and fell near the top. I worked the climb and learned the moves, hanging many times but reaching the top, fully exhausted.

With the sun setting on the Hidden Valley used a century ago by cattle thieves to hide their stolen herds, I read through the guidebook looking for one more moderate classic crack. The Hidden Tower Rock has a long 5.8 crack called Sail Away that looked like a great way to close the trip. I led up the hundred foot tower as the light from the sun turned everything around me a rich golden hue. The climb was a classic indeed, offering satisfying hand jams and finger jams and easy protection. The small pinnacle summit allowed a view of the entire Hidden Valley.

9 hours later and here I am, back in real life, writing this in the hopes of remembering the details. Joshua Tree filled me with a calm satisfied happiness that I have rarely found anywhere. I hope this feeling lasts forever.