Rock climbing is a weird activity.

Yes it is. Don't you sass me boy- I know the truth. So many little moments go by that fan fire on the stoke, but for most those very same moments would cause an insta-regression into fetal thumb-suckery. How did I get here- how did I find this place?

After a successful three day sojourn in Colorado, ct came out to California for one last trip before being enveloped in legal studies for another year. We vacillated between the Needles and the Hulk, but eventually settled on the adventure of going to a place that neither of us had been to before. We stopped at a Walmart in Porterville to pick up a cooler, and an endcap demanded a photograph. Did you know that you can buy pool floaties that function as a backpack, remington shotgun shells, paintball 'marker', and a basketball- and all of these items are priced below $99?!!!


By phone the ranger had assured me that the road to the Needles was passable in a 2wd sedan, but at midnight we hit a rut- literally- and were forced to bivy. Since the lookout burned down traffic has plummeted, and now 4wd is mandatory, and clearance would certainly speed things up. THe next morning we built a bridge out of rocks and then painstakingly navigated the rest of the rough rutted road to the campground.


The hike to the notch between the Witch and the Sorcerer is a good three miles; the heat and face-humping flies made things quite unpleasant. Luckily the notch provided some fly clearing wind and we were able to appreciate the soaring white and yellow monoliths before us.


Our introduction would be Airy Interlude 10 a/b. The old book said 'singles or doubles, nothing big, nothing small'. Armed with a single rack save for 2 green camalots, I set off on the first 70 meter pitch. This season I have really been enjoying getting after hard 5.11 in the alpine. So much so- that I had forgotten the joy of climbing 5.8 and 5.9 at 8000 feet. ct introduced me to the term 'a giggler'. As in- that pitch is a giggler cause you will laugh your way up it. The rock just moved itself underneath me, I placed 6 pieces in those 70 meters and it was an unparalleled pleasure- you know- if you're into that sorta thing.


ct then stretched the next 70 meter pitch to the top. A little bit of 5.10 but mostly some of the most I can't articulate head-shakingly fun 5.9 I've ever laid hands on- sustained and locker. I think ct enjoyed himself mightily running the last 60 feet of climbing with one piece on his belt- a truly awesome welcome route.



We dropped a rope down on Ankles Away- an incredible 11d tips splitter- and both eeked out the tronsight. That would be a booold lead. Stash gear, hike back.

Hiking back in the next morning (miles 7-10 so far- if you're into that sorta thing) was cooler, but the flies still wanted to make sweet sweet love to my face. The notch cleared them away and we waited for the Sorcerer to go into the shade. We started to rock, paper, scissors for the crux pitch- when abruptly I claimed it. I'm a straight-in crack junkie- power liebacking has long been one of my biggest weaknesses- and the only way to break free from the weakness is to go do it. Atlantis 11c would be just the ticket.


Next thing I know I am mid 5.10 power underclinging and liebacking with groundfall potential. In my head I'm saying to myself "might as well- there's some 11 liebacking waiting for you." The crack turns vertical and splitter- but throws in some liebacking up top- just for fun.


ct navigates a tricky start to P2 and then cruises. Now it is go time. I get some great gear in off of the belay- but I am going to have to punch it on 11c lieback with a nasty slab fall waiting for me. I have a few fits and sh*ts trying to figure out how to start- but once I do my identity is lost and I am the very activity I have initiated. I grab the horizontal, fire in some pro, and then send the techy and pumpy rest of the pitch. Grade-wise it is one of my finest on-sights to date and that is quite a nice feeling- if you're into that sorta thing.


The moves off the belay for pitch 4 are awkward, sequential, climb above your gear 11-, and ct blasts through it. The climbing here is powerful and committing- I think I like this place! We only have the one rope- so we rap into the notch and then climb Spooky- a very unique 5.9 to get us out of there. ct takes the 10b (cough cough 5.11) variation to the second pitch to avoid the OW.




Hike out, hike back in. 15 miles now.

Day 3 almost didn't happen- we were running out of water. The cooler water is fine yeah? Beer label glue has nutrition I am sure of it. Instead we ran into a German who was visiting the states for the 2nd time. The first time was 25 years ago and he went to Colorado. We tell him that we had just climbed the Diamond 2 weeks earlier- and of course he says "I climbed the Diamond 25 years ago, D7." The same route we had just climbed! I love the community. While we were on Atlantis, he and his Canadian friend left us a bunch of water and made day 3 on The Don Juan Wall 11b possible. Thanks boys!


Where Atlantis is cruxy, Don Juan is sustained. The 9+ first pitch is cool and a great warmup- and then I am off on the crux pitch. Incredible sustained fingers lead to a bulge and a very hard to read sequence. I whipped nicely here before figuring it out- and surprise surprise- liebacking to victory.



The next pitch is listed as 10c and is kinda reminiscent of the 10b flare on The Crucifix- except much more strenuous and much less secure. Call it 10c OW and I guess (I did do all sorts of tubing and funky footery) otherwise cough cough 5.11. Sandbagged grades are good!... say it with me now- if you're into that sorta thing.


The next pitch is a beauty- super sustained 10+ and 10 on immaculate rock.


The camera died- so no photos of the wicked green 5.11 roof pull on pitch 5. The changing corners and bulge pulls after are all top notch. Burly in the best kind of way (I don't even need to type it again- you're already saying it in your head).




No crowds, F-18s corkscrewing by 100 feet off the deck, committing climbing on perfect aesthetic rock. 18 miles of hiking, cooler water ingestion and horrendously slow off-roading in the a5. Paradise. You know, if you're into that sorta thing.