Ok ok, there has been a lot of back and forth and forth and back and hearsay and anecdotal evidence on here recently:

http://www.supertopo.com/climbers-forum/2734166/Ski-wax

Being the selfless community minded person that I am I set out to put everyone's minds at ease. There was only one way to solve this once and for all.
With SCIENCE!

Not qualified to use science, you say?

BAM!

Never heard of Fresno State, you say? That's probably because it's so prestigious that it's only whispered about by the most prestigious people, and you must not be one of them.

Check out the official university rankings from the internet.

You might also think I may be a genius scientist but am in no way an accurate judge of wax.

DOUBLE BAM!!!
21 years of shredding gnar in all conditions, paid my way through half of college with it, and worked as a tuning tech for everyone from groms all the way to olympic athletes!



Now that that's established and you're really impressed, let us get back to the scientific method.

1. Ask A Question
Is wax super awesome and super necessary?

2. Do Background Research
I read the "Ski Wax" thread, obviously skipping the comments I did not agree with.
http://www.supertopo.com/climbers-forum/2734166/Ski-wax

3. Hypothesis
Dry bases are for chumps.

4. Experiment
Time to get down to the nitty gritty. (knitty gritty?)
First I applied the wax before heading out, per the usual.
Mixing a little warm with a little cold weather formula.

Not done yet.

You can never have too much wax.

More wax, more speed!

MORE WAX!!!


Yesterday morning started out a little chilly by California standards, but nothing that wax couldn't handle.


Made good time up the Hump Trail (not as fun as it sounds) towards Pear Lake in Sequoia, thanks to the wax, despite having to break trail for the second half.

I took a break, noticed the Tablelands looked a little bony, and decided to do a few stability tests.

Hmmmm, three out of three times the top part of the snow slid off nice and clean while I was cutting the back of the block, without even getting to tap it. The bottom of that layer must have been waxed.

I was feeling lazy and a bit apprehensive about the snow, even if the weak layer was under a really strong ice sheet, so I decided to look for a run that was a little lower angle and a little closer. Thanks to this phone that my buddy Steve J. invented for me it was an easy search
10 degrees up and about 15 to the side, so the ridge was probably 15 to 20 degrees with some trees. Looked good to me.

But wait! 15 degrees and by the time you get there it'll be in the sun, you won't be able to pick up speed or initiate turns or have any fun! Au contraire, I have wax, remember?!?!

Past Heather Lake,

A look back at Tokopah Domes,

And onto the side of a more representative slope for a real test.

Jumping as hard as I could and the ice layer a foot down was holding strong, time to shred!

Now we're talkin!

28 degrees at the steepest and then leveled out onto fresh powder.
Good thing I was all waxed up and ready to test my hypothesis.

But first,
#lemmetakeaselfie. I'll never understand why people bothered to go outside before instagram and trip reports. Maybe for science?

Open bowl test: passed

Pillows and trees test: passed

Hit some rocks and logs but don't get board damage thanks to protective wax test: passed.
Super fun to have wax test: PASSED!

The worst part was that I had to drag a bunch of heavy snow back over the hump.
Next time I'll wax the top, I can't believe I didn't think of that before.

I mistakenly thought that I could tele (which I've never done) my splitboard down the tight trees on the hump. After that disaster I switched back to snowboard mode and headed down the west facing, warm, low angle hump but had a blast and flew thanks to wax!

5. Analyze Data and Draw a Conclusion
That was really fun. I am sore. Wax is so much better than old fuzzy, dry bases.

6. Results and Accept/Reject Hypothesis
Dry bases are for chumps, hypothesis hella accepted braj! (that's how snowboarders talk)



Well there you have it, irrefutable scientific evidence that you should wax your skis, boards, and babies. Sorry, "F" and "raymond phule."

You're welcome, posterity.