As summer starts to wind down and temperatures start to get good in Yosemite, I was interesting to look at how things changed for me this summer – my goals and aspirations and my mindset. (Warning : this is a bit long winded; got a lot of thoughts in this). It was interesting to see how my mindset, ego and humility changed towards climbing (long routes, short routes, cragging, and even in within a route).

My big goal for the past few years has been to climb the RNWF of Half Dome. To me, Half Dome is just one of the coolest formations in the world for me, it’s the first sight you see coming into the Valley from the West side, and it checked all the box’s of what I was looking for in a dream route – a long moderate marked with history and really aesthetic and cool pitches. But as everyone knows, early season a game changer happened … and I was confused. I kind of felt happy and wanted to hold that sliver of hope that I would still be able to one day climb the RNWF, but at the same time, I felt free. Did my aspirations for wanting to do train for this route make climbing less enjoyable for me? I passed on bouldering trips to Bishop, sport climbing trips to Gold Wall and other opportunities that I felt wouldn’t get me on track to the RNWF in 2015. But now that it was out of the picture, I kind of felt … free.

That’s not to say I didn’t have other goals. Coming back from Indian Creek feeling pretty good, I set a few personal bests cragging a few RP and OS at the Grotto. This got me thinking, maybe this year a few routes that I didn’t think I would be able to do this year (or ever) might be an option? I have always wanted to do Positive Vibrations, Rostrum, Thunderbolt to Sill Traverse, Sabretooth Ridge. Maybe a trip out to Red Rocks, Weston has been talking about Cloud Tower a lot. And reading about some of Vitaly’s adventures makes me a little curious what its like to dive into the unknown (or in his case, the abyss sometimes). Or maybe become a better sport climber, there were always a been a lot of really aesthic lines I’ve wanted to try but I was never good enough for. Bouldering problems I haven’t tried yet like Seven Spanish Angels or Jedi Mind Tricks.


To kick off June, I made my first return to Lovers Leap since I started climbing. We started out on Tombstone Terror and finished on Travellers Buttress. I got spanked following Tombstone Terror and was feeling kind of bummed after feeling pretty strong from the previous week of cragging. Following that, the pitch 2 of Travellers Buttress was a struggle; I was hoping that things would have gone a littie more smoothly after doing some TRing OW at Indian Creek. But oh well. The last 2 pitches I ended up linking and I had trouble finding good enough gear to make a belay. We then finished climbing The Line, a route that wanted to do the first year I was climbing – and I have to say, I expected a cruiser moderate, but I felt the gear was a little trickier than I expected and linking the last 2 pitches. I almost fell just before the roof of the last pitch, which would have been pretty bad since I was pretty far from my last piece at that moment. Phew… maybe I should have taken today a bit more seriously. Maybe I got a little too egotistical after last week – on the drive home, I feeling a bit humbled and stupid. (No picture, forgot camera.)

The next week, my wife and I headed out to Tuolomne with 2 goals – Direct NW Face of Lembert Dome and OZ. The weather was iffy and rain clouds were patchy, so a few short routes made the most sense. My wife took the lead on the Direct NW Face and was making pretty good pace and feeling confident up until the crux. At the crux, she was getting a bit intimidated but I convinced her to push herself. She hung at and after the crux, but I was proud that she pushed through – I think its better to push yourself and hang/fall rather than just TR hard stuff. She got through the slightly spicey 5.9 slab ok too. When I reached the top following, she had a huge grin on her face and was feeling pretty good about pushing herself on the hardest multipitch lead. Its great to push yourself a little beyond your comfort level, even if you hang or fall.


The next day was OZ. a route I had previous followed my friend Patrick on 2 years ago and hung multiple times on the 10d face and 10c corner. At that time, I never dreamed of doing anything above 5.9 for trad, so it felt bonkers for me to one day do it. But here I was 2 years later, and little bit more experience, a little bit stronger, a little bit more confident. Well, except the first 15 feet, a 5.9 sleeper start. Crap… I just can’t commit to make it into the crack. I screw around for 20 minutes before my humbly take a small break and contemplate my options. My wife decides to take a stab at it, get through it first try, and a few minutes later, she’s at the belay. After having her as a partner, I’m not really surprised that she cruises stuff that scare the piss out of me – a great partner to have. I follow the first pitch and gear up for the second pitch – the 5.10d face. I remember this being reachy and hard, but I brought a bail biner. First crux actually ends up going a lot smoother than 2 years ago (albeit still reachy for me) with a hung just before and after, but I got through ok – sweet. The knobs are feeling a little bigger and the terrain a little more positively sloped that I remember it being – sweet. Second crux went through without any drama and I set up a belay just below the sweet 5.10c corner - sweet! My wife follows with a bit of trouble on the 1st crux as the sequence is a bit more powerful when you are short, but otherwise cruises the rest ok. I gear up with an extra 0.5 and 0.75 for the 5.10c corner as I decide I’m going to push to the fall on this. I start out being a little conservative with my gear early as I remember pumping out near the end, but this time the footholds feel a lot bigger and there seem to be more then I recall last time. About 20 feet before the anchors, I still haven’t fallen or hung and I’m thinking “holy crap I might get this clean!” Then the (leg) pump came. I make 2 moves to get into a better stance, plug 2 cams in and start chugging. I plug one more piece about 8 feet from the anchors, and fire off a big move before a great jam and almost blow it but I get the jam before blowing it. I’m panting like a dog at this point, I crawl up on all 4’s along the sloping ledge just before the anchors and anchor myself in. I take a few seconds to catch my breath before I finally gasp a “woo! Off belay!” Probably my favorite single pitch in Tuolomne and maybe my favorite 5.10 pitch I’ve done. My wife follows and hangs a few times – I guess she didn’t know there were footholds to stem.


The next week, we attempted the North Ridge of Conness with my wife and my friend Liz, but when we reached the glacier it didn’t look like the decent would go, so we had lunch by the glacier and hung out for a while then headed back. I was feeling great at this point, but by the time we reached the car, my knee’s were starting to feel a little sore. Little did I know it would get a lot worse…


The next day, we went cragging at Ohlsted with my friend Dustin. I started out a warmup on Ivory Tower Center and was cruising until 5 feet before the top, when I caught by a surprise ratty finger. I plugged a cam and tried downclimbing to a good rest, but it wasn’t helping. I try to go back up and fire through the crux, but just can’t commit. “Shit… take!” Damn it… hung on the warmup. I was feeling kind of dumb. (I later came back and got it clean at least.) Next I tried Lord Caffaine and it was an ass kicker. I hung on all 3 crux’s and in between as well, but I was feeling pretty good about pushing myself outside my comfort zone. The 1st crux took me a little while to figure out, the 2nd crux went through fine (I wish I pushed myself a little harder, but at least I pushed to the fall on a small cam which felt pretty good) and the 3rd crux was heady but there was no gear to hang on so I had to push through. Despite getting my ass kicked, I was feeling great! I pushed myself, I fell, I tried things I had never done on lead and it was great!



Next was a cragging trip to Shuteye Ridge with Liz again and her friend Tim. I sport climbed a few moderates, not much to say other then it was a beautiful place that I hope to go climb more one day.



The following week, I had made plans to climb Charlotte Dome with my friend Anthony – a route we had planned to do together for 2 summers, and 7 times we tried got cancelled due to forest fires and weather. My wife partners with a Anthony’s badass climber friend, Cao. Probably one of the funniest guys I have met in a while to boot. Charlotte Dome was one of 3 routes I really wanted do in the Sierras (along with Mt Russell and Clyde Mineret) but early in my climbing career, a.k.a. 3 years ago, one guy I started climbing with told me how I would die or get hurt on this route and how serious it was. So I wanted to partner with Anthony, who has a ton of experience in the Sierras and overall is one of the most positive and psyched climbers I know.
Rain was in the forcast for the day we hike in, but the climbing day was supposed to be good so we didn’t want to cancel for the 8th time. My knee’s however, were still feeling pretty rough from Mt Conness, but I decided to push it. As expected, we got a few short thunderstorms on the hike in but nothing too big and we get to camp in about 4 hours, and I was surprised how beautiful the hiking trail along Bubbs Creek is. Passing by the Sphinx was pretty cool, the approach looked rough though. As we started to get closer to camp, I thought the prominent wall we were heading towards was Charlotte Dome – turns out it was actually Bubbs Creek Wall. Dang that thing looks sick, I can see why some fools would hike out to climb this thing over and over again every week. (nudge nudge wink wink)
That night, I couldn’t sleep – from time to time I get bouts of insomnia, and I was getting it again this week. At 2am, I wake up hungry and my stomach is growing, so I head out into the cold and have a have a few bars. We get an alpine start at 4am as we (were hoping) to get back home that day. My knees feel like grandpa knee’s, I’m leaning on my hiking poles to stand. But I think I can hike… The initial hike in is steep but goes quickly thanks to my badass partner Anthony carrying a bunch of stuff. If I keep moving, I can suck it up and get through the pain. We get to the top of the steep stuff just as the sun is rising an hour or two later, and it looks like we are a stone’s throw from the start… wrong. The manzanilla bushwacking slow us down to a crawl, and getting to the base of Charlotte Dome is like walking towards the Effiel Tower. We end up getting to the base at 9am or 10am and know we have to make up time. Anthony and I, and Cao and my wife, simul the first 4 pitches, pitch 5-6 before we pitch it out. Anthony took the sparsely protected routes and the routes labeled difficult routefinding, I got to take the sweet Furrows pitch. Did I mention how awesome of a partner Anthony is? Ontop of that, I end up off route in some way on all my leads, but at the end of the day we made it through the Narrows and got to the top by mid afternoon. The summit of Charlotte Dome is pretty sweet, how this area doesn’t have more established routes I do not know.
Unfortunately, the decent down is rough for me; the slabs were intimidating and we made use of the fixed rope to assist in getting us down. Unfortunately, despite having 8 energy bars, I’m running low on gas and my knee’s are completely shot. The next 4 hours are a blur of stumbling, tripping and bonking but we make it back to camp. Every step is painful, and we still have a 8 mile hike back to the car, albeit on a good hikers trail (Bubbs Creek Trail). I eat another 3 bars, and try to cover as much ground as possible while we still have daylight. However, once it got dark, I started to medically bonk and my knee’s are completely shot. I was walking slower then my grandpa did when he was 103 years old. I’ve run out of gas completely, I’m tripping and stumbling again except now I’ve tripped so many times that I’m getting dizzy. It took double the time for me to hike back, and when I reach the car, I’m puking air (there is nothing left in my stomach). I’m feeling really embarrassed and I feel bad that I let my team down – they are going to have to go into work Monday with no sleep. Sorry guys.


I take a few weeks off to recover and try to rebuild what little muscle and fat I had on my body. I was already a small fry before I went on this trip, and I lost 10 lbs that weekend.

When my knee’s started to feel a little stronger a few weeks later, I decided to climb Third Piller of Dana. It was a route we tried to do 2 years ago, but went down the wrong gully (which was scary as hell and I was almost a bowling pin to a few bowling balls coming down at me). I get insomnia the night before, again, and at 3:30am I’m thinking screw it, I’m not sleeping tonight – lets go. I don’t get to the start of the climb till 9am as I loose a lot of time going down the (correct) gully cause my knee’s are wonky, and despite our embarrassingly early start, a party gets to the base before we do as I start the optional 1st (pre?) pitch. No matter though, the leader of the party in front of me has done this route a few times and I heard the route finding could be tricky, so I decide to just tailgate them at their blessing.
Being humble and honest with myself here, I probably got a little overconfident here again, and found myself more than a few times caught with my pants down – at multiple points, I found myself pulling insecure or surprisingly hard moves with gear a long ways below me (if I could even see it at all). The 10a fingers variation, in particular, I really wish I put more gear in early but thankfully I don’t blow it and make it to the anchors without eating sh#t. I almost fall in the 5.6 chimney (serious), and the 10b face seemed a lot more blank, thin and intimidating then I expected. I manage to make it through the crux pitches without falling, thankfully, as falls at the crux pitches were pretty serious. Did I get too confident in myself and underestimate the route, again? We finish the last pitch just as the route hits the shade and the wind picks up exponentially – quite memorably. The setting above mono lake (knowing its 100 degrees down there), the seriousness despite the moderate grade, the aesthetic feature and it stands proud guarding Tuolomne Medows just above 395… one of the best routes I have ever done.
That weekend, I also tried Tideline as my friend Weston recommended, which was burly but awesome. I led it first with too many hangs that I care to admit, and followed it with a TR which went much smoother. (Confession: I’m more of a red pointer if you can’t tell; not sure if it’s a commitment issue or what.) Tideline and Lord Caffaine are both routes in Olhmsted I would like to go back to get clean.


I also got to follow on Crest Jewel that weekend, which my friend had a mini-epic getting off route on old bolts and sh#t his pants so hard he probably had to throw out the pants. I was never the best slab climber (read: I suck at slab) but it was a nice route, I would like to go back one day to lead it.

For the next month, I’m resting my knee’s either gym climbing and cragging at Donner, mostly the classics at Snowshed like Little Feat and Farewell to Arms. Stout place, I had to sweat for more routes than I expected. I probably climbed Monkey Paws 14x on TR, but I finally sacked up and lead it. I realize that it might not seem very courageous to do it this way, but I felt pretty proud that pushing myself to lead it. Maybe it’s the lofty grade, or the fact that its hard (for me), but despite hanging on all 3 crux’s, I was psyched when I reached the chains! My hardest lead to date! More than anything, I wanted to prove to myself that I lead it even if I fall or hang. Psyched!



The last trip I did was to the Hulk to do Positive Vibrations, Polish Route and Tradewinds. In somewhat of a convoluted trip, I did PV with one partner, then Polish Route and Tradewinds with a second partner. Positive Vibs was on the short list of my summer goals along with Charlotte Dome, but I was told a lot of things about it – for some, it was their first 5.11 leads and 5.11 RP’s, some others said it was serious, sustained and scary and you can’t breath at that altitude. Some said it was like cragging, others called it hardman climbing. I was told if I’m going to go out there, I should be out there for a week cause of the altitude and how knarly the approach was. (In the end, both I disagree with now that I’m out there; it felt a lot like backcountry cragging; approach was surprisingly short and took 3-4 hours with a few breaks.) I read probably every trip report online about it, had permits to do it the last year and earlier in the summer, but always found convenient excuses not to do it because it intimidated me. But when it looked like plans would align for me to go out there for almost a week, and do 3 routes? Okay. LET DO IT!
First up was Positive Vibrations. All summer I wanted to do this route. And last summer. But more this summer. I probably couldn’t stop talking about it. Other then RNWF Half Dome, this was the dream. Standing proud above camp, my mind started to wonder and picture myself doing epic sh#t like Peter Croft and Lisa Rands did in their Reel Rock filiming of the Hulk. This was it, this day was here, I am here! My partner, who is stronger than me (but will remain nameless since I had a bit of trouble that day) agreed to take the two 5.11 pitches and I would take the rest of the pitches except for the 5.9 start. For all that I imagined and dreamed up PV to be, I don’t have as much to say as it didn’t feel any more special than other routes I did. I lead pitches 2, 4, half of 5 and 7. I got confused and hung on the pitch 2 crux, but was happy to get all the other leads clean. The pitch 4 stemming was my favorite pitch. My partner was having a bit of an off day and struggled on his leads, and the pitch 6 intimidated him; he ended up C1’ing it it up which took many hours to do. At this point, my legs were numb from standing at the pitch 5 belay for a few hours, and I was shaking cold from the wind… probably the reason I didn’t enjoy this route as much as its classic fame. I think my partner found some bail station half way up pitch 8 where we rapped down, and got to the pitch 3 belays before we had to pull out the headlamps. The amount of time I was belaying on hanging belays had beaten up my puny body. Tomorrow is gonna be a rest day. (We ended up TRing Power Rangers, which was pretty fun.)


After the rest day, Vitaly trail blazed up to meet me as at sunrise and choose to do the Polish Route first. It was a cold week at the Hulk, I was feeling a bit sore, and I had another bout of insomnia the night before and I did not sleep. Still though, I knew the first pitch was within my leading capability, so I took first lead. I did not perform as well as I would have liked and I was physically fatigued, and hung a few times (all one move away from a good handjam rest or good rest stance; I wish I had pushed myself harder). With my 80m rope, I linked pitches 1+2, with Vitaly swinging leads to do pitches 3+4. Linking that way ended up being a rope stretcher for both of us, but it was pretty sweet to link pitches 3+4 for a heroic 80m of continuous arm bars and butterfly stacks. I actually found the Polish Route to be harder, more sustained but way more enjoyable then PV. Those butterfly stacks were AWESOME!


When I reach the belays, Vitaly says he thinks Escape from Poland goes up the corner to our right. Crap, I knew he talked about doing the Escape from Poland finish, but I forgot he said that. I didn’t have any beta, I was fatigued and went from freezing cold (I guess that’s what happens when you swing leads on 80m rope stretchers it’s a long cold belay). Basically I wasn’t ready, but here I was climbing with a guy that dives head first into the unknown. He tells me I should lead it, but I don’t know the exact grading and length, I don’t know where the belays are… basically I don’t know anything. In short, I wasn’t ready and I’m timid. He ends up taking the lead and reaches the anchors rather quickly. I follow finding the rock to be a little less travelled than the Polish Route, but I guess compared to the FA’s that Vitaly does, this is solid. I take the next pitch that goes into a roof, and I have no idea what the hell I’m supposed to do when I reach there. I hang multiple times and it’s a little awkward and in the end I end up aiding the move out of the roof. Shoot… how embarrassing. I really should have pushed myself harder… but I wasn’t ready. I’ve recently been inspired by reading Vitaly’s FA’s and adventures to less travelled routes, but I’m already getting intimidated at the Hulk? This was a tough question I’ve asked myself since … my mindset and intimidation I felt at the prospect of leading Escape from Poland, and the commitment of making the move out of the roof. Why did I not commit?

The next day was going to be a big day for Vitaly, he was going to lead all pitches of Tradewinds. As a follower, its no stress, no commitment. For Vitaly, lots of peanut and pebble size pro. I have no real thoughts or revelations here other then it was AWESOME (Pitch 1 stemming was my favorite; despite hangs on multiple points on the route, I was pretty pleased with my performance; Vitaly, of coarse, crushed), it was easily my favorite route at the Hulk, the best route I did this summer and probably the best route I’ve ever done. Having a fun partner like Vitaly also helps too, thanks for partnering up with me on this route – it might have been a usual cragging day for him, but for me it was one of the most memorable climbing trips I’ve ever been on.





Last paragraph, I promise - Sorry for the long winded post, just getting my thoughts into words – I learned a lot about “climbing” this summer. I failed at big walls the South Face of Washington Column, I got destroyed on Charlotte Dome (and Fishhook Arete the previous year)… what kind of climber am I? Am I the stereotypical gym rat who climbs best in an alcohol-free nightclub climbing gym? Maybe wrestling pebbles? My roots do come from bouldering. I did East Buttress of Middle Cathedral 2 years ago, one of my personal favorite accomplishments and I thought it would define me a climber and what I wanted out of climbing, thus I seeked out the RNWF of Half Dome… but since its fallen (literally), I somehow feel free, like I’m a free agent and can be anything I want. It’s nice to have projects and goals, but not ones that tie you down. Sometimes people get bogged down by not “improving” in their grade chasing or sometimes lose sight of the big picture – and the big picture is, just do what feels right. Even one of my big goals – Positive Vibrations, at the Hulk – turned out to be meh but I ended up enjoying the Polish Route more, and even more, Tradewinds. That’s not to say I don’t have goals – I have fall goals and I have winter goals. I even have a new long term goal. But hopefully, I learn from my trials and tabulations from this summer and just excited to get back on the rock this fall and winter – from wrestling pebbles, clipping bolts, big projects, small projects and maybe even a little adventure. Thanks for reading!