After our first experience and lessons learned in Red Rocks (http://www.supertopo.com/tr/Red-Rocks-Swiss-climbers-discover-the-wild-west/t13007n.html) we decide that there must be even bigger challenges waiting for us somewhere out there. Steeper walls, more cracks, larger squirrels, we’re ready to take them all on, and to walk away beaten and humbled. So we’re off to Zion, only a short drive from Red Rocks. The guidebook says something about “…Prepare to get a little scared….”. If it’s just a little, we’re willing to take it.
Zion is more crowded than Red Rocks. Since improvisation is our organization we have no plan on where to sleep and finally find a spot to pitch our tent in the campsite on the other side of the park (east exit I assume?) after trying out another 5 or 6 other full campsites.

Next day we head to the Kung Fu Theatre, this seems to be a place with good choice of medium routes, and it’s in the shade. A good place to start.
We climb Miagi first, the guide says it’s a bit dirty towards the top. Yes it is! When we get down we’re dirty too. A decent start, our inexistent crack climbing skills are tested and we realize that we don’t really have a clue. Optimism is high, so is the fun factor. And we have a cool box in the car with ice and beer. Can anything go wrong now?
Next route is Hong Kong Phooey, probably not a typical Zion climb, it’s a face climb with crimps and flakes, no crack technique needed and we both fly up this climb. Feels like home, except that the rock here tends to be a bit more crumbly; and it’s not what we came here for. We want to stick our hands in cracks!
Now we start getting bold, move one route to the right and get going on Inner Chi. The line is beautiful. A crack in a dihedral, follow it til it ends and figure out how to get over the last overhanging bit to the bolts. Now we start realizing that climbing here requires other skills. I could do well with thinner fingers for instance; my sausages just won’t fit into the crack, which sends me flying several times. This helps to increase trust in self-placed protection. But trust alone doesn’t get me up, so I back off and leave the next try for Stefano. He makes it on the second attempt, great job! I try again and finally get up there as well. We made a video of one of my attempts and after seeing it I am ever so grateful to whoever belays me: A video of about 12 minutes with around 1 minute of climbing and 11 minutes of complaining, shaking, hanging there, BORING. A belayer’s job mainly requires patience, lots of patience.

Having done Inner Chi we look around, what’s next? There’s still one big climb here, Mortal Combat. Never mind the name, let’s do it! After two pitches we’re hanging in the belay just wondering, wasn’t there something strange about the name of this climb?? There must be a reason to it, and now we know it. Not quite mortal, but definitively a combat. We wedge all we have into the cracks: hands, feet, knees, elbows, shoulders, heads, butts, this is not a lesson in technically accomplished OW climbing, but what the hell, it gets us to the top. The fun factor is temporarily diminished, but by the time we’re back down we know there’s a beer waiting for us and all is well again.

Word must have spread among the squirrels that some climbers are coming from Switzerland and they have food in their packs, maybe even CHOCOLATE?!?!?!? But we don’t let them fool us again, our food is safe!

Zion is a beautiful place, regardless of the climbing it’s stunning. We walk up to Angel’s Landing and to the narrows, we just can’t get enough of the sights, the colours and the rock formations. And here are some pictures to make you all want to go there.


And being in a touristy place has some advantages as well, such as plenty of choice for food and drink.

Next day is for the Headache, a classic Zion climb in its grade. We have to try it. Rock paper scissors and I get to lead the first pitch. This is what we consider being our first real splitter crack.

So out come my home-made crack climbing gloves and into the crack go my hands and feet.

After the first couple of moves I find it pumpy, very pumpy. And painful, it feels like putting my feet under a truck and asking the driver to go back and forth a few times.

Now here is my big question to all of you crack climbers out there: why does nobody ever mention the word PAIN in one of his or her trip reports?? Is my (inexistent) crack climbing technique so lousy, am I a sissy, or are you all real badass climbers who don’t mind pain, blood and scars?

Anyway, I swear that I will climb the next big enough crack wearing my moon boots, I’m sure I can wedge my feet into the crack and still be comfortable.

Back to the Headache: I manage to reach the first belay, my arms feel like lead, but the pitch is great. Sorry I can’t say much more about it, that’s how good my climbing memory is, it was great, period. And if I redo a climb after 15 minutes it’s basically another onsight.

I seem to remember a bit more about the third pitch, which is my lead again. I set off from the belay looking like a Christmas tree, with the gear nearly pulling off my harness and pants.

I place an exaggerated amount of gear in the first part of the pitch to get some weight off my harness, but the higher I get the more the pump grows, again. And not far from the belay the inevitable happens: fiddle around to place a cam, looks crappy, better than nothing, climb on, pump, HOLD ON, DON’T LET GO, I’M GONNA FALL!! And I fall, the cam holds my fall, stress is relieved. To all the people looking up from the parking lot: that would have deserved at least some applause, you don’t get those shows every day.

I climb on and the rest of the pitch goes fine, I finally get to place my no. 3 cam and the very last move gets me talking again. “Don’t hesitate, you’re getting pumped, but I don’t know how to hold on to this, but you need to get going, I can’t, do something, why the hell do you go to the gym in winter??” After some more inner debate of this kind I finally decide that my gym training should not be wasted and that I certainly CAN hold on to small holds. Grab, hold, move your feet, done, belay, happy end.
We rappel over a climb called Never Again. Well, after yesterday’s Mortal Combat we sure know that names here have a meaning. We don’t even think about Never Again. It takes a while but we learn…
We plan our days in Zion so as to always have enough time to spend down by the river, enjoying a beer and we find more than enough places to eat.

Our last climbing day is probably not the typical Zion climb. We head up to the east rim and climb Led by Sheep on Aries Butte. That’s a very enjoyable, easy, fun climb in a totally different landscape. We have a good time, fry our brains in the sun and find this a great way to end this part of our trip. And we even get to see a few Bighorn Sheep!
No wishes left. Well, that’s actually not quite true. When we got to Zion I had this picture of Shune’s Buttress from the guidebook in my head and that was my goal.
But we didn’t have the guts to go up there. After getting beaten up on presumably easier climbs we figured out we shouldn’t go looking for trouble up there. That climb is now on my wish list and it’s going to take a lot of work and training to get it off that list. On our next trip to Zion?