Trip Report
thousand bucks, the hard way.

by Norwegian
Friday November 16, 2012 4:32pm
im yours.
supertopo.
your collective opinion of me,
i adore.

i am not entirely likeable.
i am quite awkward.
and confrontational.
and immature.
and dramatic and absolute
and judgemental and evil.
and most of all,
ignorant.

though if you know me, as me,
i am completely harmless.

i strive for consideration,
among you.
your recognition is to me,
emotionally pleasing.
consternation upon me, i'll take gleefully.
beatings upon my brow
are like cops upon my trail:
exciting.

so here i am,
being me, and nothing more.
if you ever need something or anything:
money, hugs, services, encouragement, cams that need lube,
guidebooks, splinter-ridden clean socks, a place to park your trailer,
a swayward vision, a riddle, hair product (sorry i cant provide anyone with hair product), a local guide or companion,
or even

if you just need someone to compare yourself agains to feel better about yourself,
i am a deep puddle in which you can step,
or even bathe if the chicks won't regard you and your dirtbag halo,

cheers.
supertopo.

we are we.
and this is exactly how folly flows.

top left corner top right corner
Credit: Norwegian
bottom left corner bottom right corner
photo not found
Missing photo ID#274061
photo not found
Missing photo ID#274068

[Click to View YouTube Video]
[Click to View YouTube Video]
[Click to View YouTube Video]
[Click to View YouTube Video]

please.
any endowment of yee, upon me is welcome
in my journey towards two smiles, successively.

  Trip Report Views: 3,237
Norwegian 		About the Author
Norwegian is a trad climber from dancin on the tip of god's middle finger.

Comments
graniteclimber

Trad climber
The Illuminati -- S.P.E.C.T.R.E. Division
  Nov 16, 2012 - 04:51pm PT
This is the best poem I'm read of your's so far.

But what do the 1000 bucks mean?

Edit: You got $1000 for removing the tree in the videos?
JEleazarian

Trad climber
Fresno CA
  Nov 16, 2012 - 04:51pm PT
Fun to run the videos, but watching the branches and trunk sections drop was a little too suggestive to me. Every time I drop something on a climb, I always think "this could be me!" But I enjoyed watching it anyway.

Still, Norwegian, you're a much braver man than I. One time I got a bear hang stuck up in a tree, and didn't want to use my climbing gear to get it down. We were horse packing, and one of the wranglers had a pistol (allegedly to shoot a horse if it broke a leg) and lots of ammo, and we proceeded to try to perforate the offending branch until it broke. Wish we had you along.

Thanks.

John
ontheedgeandscaredtodeath

Social climber
Wilds of New Mexico
  Nov 16, 2012 - 05:10pm PT
Cool. I used to do tree work for the USFS. We got to do some fun projects, bagging eagles, traveling around to different forests to do stuff.

We also built Osprey nests, which involved topping trees and then building a platform on the resulting flat surface. It's wild taking a big top off a tree- major swinging back and forth when it cuts loose!!

Here is a picture of my feet in an eagle's nest:


Hi!!
Bargainhunter

climber
  Nov 16, 2012 - 05:26pm PT
How do you make the first cut of the trunk with confidence that the tree top will fall away from you and not topple back and crush you on the way down?
Vitaliy M.

Mountain climber
San Francisco
  Nov 16, 2012 - 05:28pm PT
if you just need someone to compare yourself agains to feel better about yourself,
i am a deep puddle in which you can step,

hilarious. when my mom tells me about another of her friend's 3rd child who got into a law school I will try to tell her I am not that bad. don't you hate when someone tries to compare you to other people? so f*#ked up...i am not them, and i am not those other guys bumming for a bus pass, so let me be me...
WBraun

climber
  Nov 16, 2012 - 06:14pm PT
Hard core.

Didn't even use gloves,chainsaw chaps or a helmet like a true pro.

Only pussies use that sh!t ..... :-)
Brandon-

climber
The Granite State.
  Nov 16, 2012 - 06:19pm PT
Yeah Werner, PPE is for stupid American pussies.

BITD my buddy Sean had thirty stitches in his thigh because the saw kicked and his double knee carhartts did nothing to arrest the chain.

Chaps are for pussies.

:)
Norte_Caroliña_Climber

Gym climber
BigWall Baller From the Holler
  Nov 16, 2012 - 06:28pm PT
Thousand bones the hard way? Better remember to lube yer pooper, you might be sellin it for a while on the Vegas strip to raise that kinda scrizzle.

Hey Ronadnerson, how long have you known Bocephus? I thought Hank Jr was fattern that.
graniteclimber

Trad climber
The Illuminati -- S.P.E.C.T.R.E. Division
  Nov 16, 2012 - 06:37pm PT
BITD my buddy Sean had thirty stitches in his thigh because the saw kicked

What happens if the saw kicks and hits the strap that ties you to the tree?
WBraun

climber
  Nov 16, 2012 - 07:05pm PT
What happens if the saw kicks and hits the strap that ties you to the tree?


Then you fall to the ground.

Only pussies hit the strap :-)
Brandon-

climber
The Granite State.
  Nov 16, 2012 - 07:07pm PT
WBraun

climber
  Nov 16, 2012 - 07:13pm PT
Damn ^^^^

You weren't supposed to give it away so quick.

You gotta string these guys along that never do anything much out there along for bit :-)
Brandon-

climber
The Granite State.
  Nov 16, 2012 - 07:27pm PT
I may not be as gray in the beard as some of you, but having worked in the trades since I was a kid, I've found this;

When you're green, you learn well and get reckless. Over confident.

When you've been doing it for a few years, you're good, but complacent. Settle into the groove, so to speak.

Then, you witness or are associated with, a freak accident. Someone is seriously hurt or dies in a situation where they were doing everything right.

So, after that happens, you take precautions. I'm a carpenter, so I wear headphones and eye protection when I cut or use large air nailers. Among other general safety rules.

Freak accidents happen, and I don't want to go out at work, it's got to be way cooler than that, whenever it happens.
BLUEBLOCR

Social climber
joshua tree
  Nov 16, 2012 - 07:27pm PT
**BAAAD ASSS DUUUDE!!!
Killer Vids. 4Shooor!
Gots Me Jooones'in 4 Thee Beareee...

Yo, U eva sea Genevia?
Wood ya send her a high~^^
From Blue
ontheedgeandscaredtodeath

Social climber
Wilds of New Mexico
  Nov 16, 2012 - 07:35pm PT
I've seen some chainsaw accidents- always a big medivac sitch. I always wore chaps on fires. Well, they were required but I would have anyway. I never hit them but, like I said, accident = helivac and major blood loss. I didn't wear them in trees, too cumbersome to climb with.

Eye protection too, might be fine without it just cutting timber with sawdust coming out but in the brush some funky chunks take some funky flight paths.

I wear neither chaps nor eye protection sitting here at a computer!
WBraun

climber
  Nov 16, 2012 - 07:47pm PT
We got some kevlar chaps here.

I just tried to cut my leg off with the chain saw it didn't work.

The saw did kick back on the Kevlar chaps and now my head is cut open.

They looked in my head and were surprised there's nothing in there.

Thus I was released back to this thread .....
rick sumner

Trad climber
reno, nevada/ wasilla alaska
  Nov 16, 2012 - 08:24pm PT
Another day, the hard way, in the Norwegian woods.
mouse from merced

Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
  Nov 16, 2012 - 08:46pm PT
liked ur style weej

ran the saw only when needed

the gas-guzzling at a minimum

aplomb, that's for pussies

u git the job done for a thousand a day

that peak in the distance has a distinct pyramidic shape

is it the egypt-sheen landmark of lovers?

werner, the pig of the rocks

who knows all he needs to know by embracing nothing but the holds

nothing

truly amazing
MisterE

Gym climber
Small Town with a Big Back Yard
  Nov 17, 2012 - 12:40am PT
Nice climbing and limbing (only a "c" different, there) footage. The near miss at 9 minutes on 0064 was gripping!

Great TR!
hillrat

climber
f*#kedville
  Nov 16, 2012 - 09:11pm PT
Nice! Helluva lot more impressive than my little cottonwood. Thanks for the video!
ß Î Ø T Ç H

Boulder climber
ne'er–do–well
  Nov 16, 2012 - 10:41pm PT
Norwegi
Captain...or Skully

climber
Boise, ID
  Nov 17, 2012 - 12:23am PT
Whoa.
Norwegian

Trad climber
dancin on the tip of god's middle finger
Author's Reply  Nov 17, 2012 - 08:47am PT
bargainhunter,
the top of this tree had fallen out previously, so i just climbed up to the tip which was still 24" in diameter) and took 2' at a time, working my way back down the tree.

i used a salami-cut to encourage the 300# pieces to fall away from me. the danger of this descending cut style is that you encroach upon your safety line at the far (and less visible) side of the tree.
much care is required.

ron this tree was leaning too much, even at the top, for me to utilize wedges / face cut combo. i was much too high to employ
guy lines to my ground man.

blublocker i dont know genevia?
is she a strawberry gal?

this was a red fir, about 180' in height,
about 5' diameter at the base.

once i reached the 80' level,
i rapped to ground and pulled the bare trunk down with a come-along and liberal wedges. i put a humbolt style face cut and left about 3" of hinge.

it had a strong lean back at the bridge, so the consequences for a mishap were unacceptable (i carry 2 million worth of insurance but i never ever want to use it)

we had to sled our gear into this job,
the client wanted it down prior to winter,
with the bridge hazard and all.

by far my biggest and most challenging job yet.
mucci

Trad climber
The pitch of Bagalaar above you
  Nov 17, 2012 - 01:09am PT
Your the man Weeg. My civil dad hereocheerio.

Hope your well and great work on that beast.

Looks like A3+
Sredni Vashtar

Social climber
California
  Nov 17, 2012 - 01:25am PT
nice TR

how'd you get the rope up there? I only ever threw a line as high as i could, then prussiked up, threw another line, prussiked up so on and so forth. man that seems like a life time ago (well just under half my lifetime at 16 years) agree with the statements on how far those trees move at the tip, i think the highest i ever went was 80' or so.
Wade Icey

Trad climber
www.alohashirtrescue.com
  Nov 17, 2012 - 01:50am PT
i prefer the original blasphemy
smacked of authenticity
you edited to appease the christian right
nutjob gun toting
bearf*#ker
where's the dignity in that?
mouse from merced

Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
  Nov 17, 2012 - 07:38am PT
dignitree, Way Sassy

"the job was dignitreed by salami cuts and weej butts"

applied liberal

both right and left

i'll be up, weej

to bring u down

u may thank me never please

i love life among them trees

red fir doug fir piss-fir, willy

all them gun-toters sure are silly

trade guns for saws

then they'll see

what life

is like

for guys like thee
Norwegian

Trad climber
dancin on the tip of god's middle finger
Author's Reply  Nov 17, 2012 - 08:03am PT
wade icy my first trip report
was linked to video that had my
full name attached to the videos
so i re-uploaded the vid's to a stealth
account and hence re-did the report.
im pretty much a sissy-cat-coward,
despite my attempt to convince everyone
otherwise.

try as i did,
i could not flip line the initial 90'
of trunk. the circumference was about 12'
and the bark was highly featured;
the flip line would hang up and
i couldn't ascend.

so i climbed an adjacent tree,
threw my throw ball over a branch
on the big tree, then entered the
big guy on my climb line.

a storm rolled in so i
left the line fixed for a week
and then came back and jumared
to my high point,
at which the trunk was thin enough
for me to flip line.

flip lining large trunks is a difficult
skill to perfect.

here's a few pics from my hero grounds man, jared:
nice day at the office:
ontheedgeandscaredtodeath

Social climber
Wilds of New Mexico
  Nov 17, 2012 - 07:08pm PT
Norweeg,

You should get a different flip line for bigger timber. You need an old school braided rig for the big trees- that and a western roll will get you right on up. One of my tasks at the smokejumper base was to make them with this ancient mariners tool thing using that huge hardback knot book as a guide- can't remember the name.

During smokejumper rookie training they made us climb MASSIVE NorCal doug firs. We had to go up to where the trunk narrowed down to about 4 inches or so. I liked it- great views, a nice breeze and pretty much the only place where one of the trainers wasn't yelling / making you do push ups / etc. Nice place to swing with the breeze for a few minutes.

We also had to fall trees with a cross-cut. Fun!!
Jingy

climber
Random Nobody
  Nov 17, 2012 - 09:57pm PT
i am not entirely likeable.
i am quite awkward.
and confrontational.
and immature.
and dramatic and absolute
and judgemental and evil.
and most of all,
ignorant.

though if you know me, as me,
i am completely harmless.


 I often feel like this reads…

Thanks for letting me in on some of the orchestra known as the week life.

cheers
MisterE

Gym climber
Small Town with a Big Back Yard
  Nov 17, 2012 - 11:34pm PT
though if you know me, as me,
i am completely harmless.

I am sworn to secrecy.

vv Holy crap, Ricky!!vv
Ricky D

Trad climber
Under the Webmasters Thumb
  Nov 17, 2012 - 11:10pm PT
Knock on wood that I have yet to whack myself with a chainsaw.

But I did cut into my nuts with a circular saw that bounced back off some rip stock.
The Larry

climber
  Nov 18, 2012 - 06:10pm PT
Nice Tree aaaR!
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